I cannot tell you how difficult the last few days have been and yet I know that I will look back on these times and think "that wasn't sooo bad." Tripp has been transferred from the NICU to the ICC (Infant Care Center), a step down unit. His back is healing from surgery, but fluid is building up at his incision site. He had 22mL of fluid removed yesterday and more today. The good(?) news is his ventricles are still too small for a shunt. I question the nature of it because we have to wait until Monday for another head ultrasound to determine whether he will stay and get a shunt or we will be sent home and he may have to have a shunt at a later date. In all honesty, I don't know if it would be better to just stay and get it over with or have a break and get to go home for a little bit. I don't know if I would come back without kicking and screaming.
Last night, we were unable to get in to the Ronald McDonald house for the night, and most likely the weekend. After a lot of back in forth in our heads and to each other, Kenny and I decided to go home for the night. I had to go through my bags and repack only what I actually used and do some laundry. It had been over a week since I was home. We got Natalie from my in-laws and cuddled on the couch watching movies for a couple of hours. It was glorious! Even having her "need" to take a shower with me and watching me like a hawk while I pumped breast milk did not deter my good mood at being home. The ache for my son, however, was huge. I wanted him there so much and yet I felt like I couldn't imagine being stuck in his room for another minute.
I was so happy to see him this morning, to hold him close and kiss and snuggle him. I broke hospital rules and let Natalie hold him so I could get a picture of them two. Natalie was so excited to finally hold her brother. She wouldn't let Kenny take him out of her lap! She also had to help "eat" (feed) him. I'm trying to work on how to phrase that with her. :)
If anyone in blogger land would like to help out, click here. That will bring you to a page where you can buy a Spina Bifida awareness t-shirt with proceeds going to help cover medical expenses. Thank you to all for your love, support, and prayers. They mean the world to us.