We all have those things we wish we could go back in time and tell ourselves. As I'm contemplating getting older, I find there are a ton of things I wish I could tell myself. Or, at least, tell myself to listen when somebody else told me. As more and more teen suicides are in the news due to bullying, this seems more and more important to pass on. I don't know if any teens will ever listen to an adult. Or realize that they are not alone!
First, I would tell myself, "this too shall pass." There will be so many things in life that get thrown your way. You will be overwhelmed. Emotions will drive you to do some pretty stupid and embarrassing things. Give it a week, a month... IT WILL PASS! Things get sorted out; they get done. Things will calm down and make sense. Sometimes we need to work our butt off to get those things done. Sometimes, things fall into place. What seems like the biggest event in our lives thus far, will turn out to only be a blip on our radar of life.
Be nice. I know it's hard! Trust me. I have a temper and an uncanny ability for words to shoot out of my mouth before my brain can process them. Someone smells bad, or has an annoying laugh, a sense of humor that is not funny to you. Or maybe their always in a bad mood. Sarcastic and rude. Smile. Be friendly. Take the time to talk to them, if only for a few minutes. Don't join in on teasing or gossip about them. Believe me when I say that you will be looked at as the better person. You know those votes you get senior year in high school? Like "best smile" and "most friendly"? Those are the labels you should strive to get. Now, I am not saying to be a push over and let people walk all over you. Exude confidence and self respect. Be assertive when it comes to your personal space and well being. But any time you can, be nice.
Dress your age. Shorts that have your butt cheeks hanging out and shirts down to your nipples- Really? On what planet does a 16 or 17 year old look good while wearing that? Heck! What planet should anyone besides a stripper dress like that? No, it does not make you look older. It does, however, make you look like your easy. And trashy. BTW, take a picture and look at it in a couple of years. You'll want to burn it.
Sex. Of course I'm going to bring up sex! Nine out of ten girls I went to school with lost their virginity in their early teens. Nine outta ten regretted it. Any one of my friends that told me it felt good and they enjoyed it, admitted to lying about it later. It hurts. It's awkward. It's embarrassing. And it's just not worth the emotional upheaval it causes. I don't care if you think you love them. You love them and they love you, they'll wait. You can wait. I'm not going to tell you to wait til marriage. (Although, I can honestly say, I wish I would have.) Wait until your comfortable in your own skin, until your so comfortable with that person that you could have boogers hanging out of your nose and not get embarrassed when they tell you. You also have to think about birth control. Teen moms are not cool. I don't care that they have their own show on MTV. It is not what it's cracked up to be. You think your ready to have sex? Are you ready to talk to your partner about it? Are you ready to go and get tested together before you do anything to make sure you're both protected? Girls- use a form of birth control that you are responsible for. And if it says to take it every day at the same time, DO IT! If you can't manage that, how are you going to manage having sex and all the adult aspects that come with it?? Guys- Always, ALWAYS use a condom. It does not matter if your partner is on the pill. There is only one method that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy- Abstinence. You know, NOT having sex. Not to mention the array of STD's that can become available to you if you decide not to wrap it. And please, trust me when I tell you that the pull out method is not an effective method. Sex is one of the biggest regrets people have. Try and live so you don't have any.
You are loved. So incredibly much so that you cannot even fathom it. As harsh or out of touch as your parents seem, they will forever be in your corner. They have been through what your going through. They may have twenty or so more odd years to look back on it, but that's why they say retrospect is always 20/20. They do understand. And although they may seem unfair, they are only trying to save you from making the same mistakes they did.
I've had ten years to look back at life at 16. I'm sure when I'm thirty something, I'll look back at my twenties thinking "if only I knew then what I know now..."
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