"Facebook me." Who, especially my age (30's) hasn't said or heard those words? We've lived our adult lives on social media. We are friends with those we went to high school and college with, co-workers, our siblings, cousins, parents, and even grandparents. Some of us post pictures and status updates every day, some, not at all. But we are connected in a way we have never been before. Cool, huh?

Not always. I'm more than opinionated. I'm passionate. I'm impulsive. I cuss like a sailor and pray like a saint. I've offended more than my fair share of strangers, friends, and family members alike. I don't just limit my ability to piss people off to facebook, either! Oh no! I span multi social media platforms to do that. 😉In all seriousness, I don't (always) mean to offend people with what I post. I believe in equality, love, fairness, and being a good person. I believe that we have a duty to help whoever and whenever we can. I also believe that in doing so, we shouldn't compromise our morals or ourselves. I believe that evil exists and that bad people do, too. I believe that by being silent, we are being complacent in another's actions or inaction's. I choose to not be silent. That sometimes offends people. Especially those I disagree with.

Did you know that facebook was created by Mark Zuckerburg as sort of a "hot or not?" face mash site of Harvard students? Then it went to a who's who around campus. It spread to include other ivy league colleges, and soon after, all colleges. A virtual yearbook for college students. Awesome. And then it opened up to the general population, 13 and above with a valid email. Nice! Now you can connect with a whole bunch of people your age. Except mom and dad joined. And then your aunts and uncles. Pretty soon, Grandma found it was a great way to see pictures of everyone. Then you got married and your in-laws friended you. Shit.

Someone then got the brilliant idea for messenger. Because who can convey sarcasm, humor, anger, and sadness better than txt speech bubbles and emojis? 😤⇠("face with a look of triumph" I thought it was angry and blowing steam out of it's nose like a bull. See?) Don't even get me started on the poop emoji some thought was ice cream or the clapping hands/high five people used to signify praying? Yep, that could be bad. "Sorry your dad died. Praying for you. " 

So what better place to have a conversation about family matters than facebook messenger? AmIright? We all know that's a shit storm waiting to happen. Especially, if one of those people is an old, narcissistic hag who is great at manipulation and far exceeds the age facebook was made for in the first place. I bring this up, not because I think only people of a certain age should be on social media. Nope. There are some great people, who are older, wiser, and hilarious. But because some people, of all ages, have embrace social media as the only way of communicating. They don't realize that 1) sometimes it does matter how you say it. 2) Sometimes, it doesn't. Being rude, hypocritical, and generally a mean person comes across in both written and spoken word. And 3) If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. While the 3rd doesn't always apply, it usually does if no one is going to come to harm from you not saying something or if you are a mother-in-law.

Yesterday was a full day. We had PT for T at home, done by the school district. I don't know if I ever explained this, but we have a team of sorts, provided from the school district we live in. When you have a child that is declared disabled or is born under special circumstances, such as prematurely or under distress and they are put in the NICU, their name gets passed along to the county to be placed in a birth to 3 program. At least in Minnesota and I'm sure I'm explaining it in the crudest of terms. The county follows up with you once you are discharged from the hospital and offers to send a nurse out to help with well checks. Once they do that, they can assess for all different kinds of services, like physical therapy, occupation therapy, nursing services, etc. It has been both a HUGE blessing and a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade it for the world. The resources these people have, the work they do, it's invaluable. The stress of trying to fit in another appointment, making sure the house is clean, putting on a bra and getting dressed... it can be overwhelming at times.:)

Then we were finally able to get him into the physical therapist's office here in town. We waited 3 weeks for this appointment. We have been trying to get a walker for him since February when he was evaluated at the spina bifida clinic by both his specialist and the physiologist for one. They gave us a prescription for a reverse walker and viola! We get a walker. Right? Nope. We went to Gillettes and they wouldn't measure him for one without evaluating him. We went to the rehab place in our town and the same thing. We couldn't get one from a medical supply store without a physical therapist ordering it. So we went to this appointment, waited over an hour for them to evaluate him, and we're told they weren't "comfortable" letting him walk because of how his legs turn in. My son has already had two surgeries on his feet. He wears AFOs and twister cables to (help) keep his legs and feet in correct alignment. They don't always keep them facing forward. That's why he needs more PT. The physical therapist recommended higher bracing, a gait trainer, and some other things. Mama bear came out. I asked how many children they see with SB. Well, he's our first. (I hear that A LOT around here.) "Okay... I'm going to call his specialist. And his orthopedist. We'll get back to you." I'm livid. Not because I don't believe what she's saying. Some of it actually did make sense. Not because she doesn't have experience with my child's condition. Everyone has a first person that "opened" their eyes to the unique challenges of a condition, so to speak. I think looking at something with fresh eyes and breaking from "it's what we do with everyone" can be helpful. I'm livid because I had my hopes up that we would have a walker ordered when we left. It's that next step to independence and normalcy for him and for us. It may not be degrading for him to crawl on a dirty floor at Target, but it will be. And the sooner we get him used to using a walker and building the muscles to walk, the better and longer he will be able to do it. So I was disappointed. I have calls out to both his specialist and his orthopedist. We will see where we go from here.

We celebrate my daughter's 6th birthday this month. She wants to go to a painting class, just me and her and paint a unicorn! I can't wait. ;)

Marriage is funny. You one day decide, well not one day, hopefully it's after a year or two of dating, that this other person is the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The. Rest. Of. Your. Life. The next 70 years or so, if your lucky, thanks to medical advances. That's a long fricken time to spend with one person. If you are religious, as I am, than you went through your church to get married. It most likely involved some sort of marriage classes. Let me be the first to tell you, they mean shit.

Zilch.

Nada.

It's like going through the fire drill at school. You get the jist of what is expected of you. But when it really happens, nothing is like what you practiced. Everyone is freaking out and you are just trying to make it out of the building alive. If your a decent human being, you don't trample those that fall and help anyone you can. If not, well... times like those show the world your true colors.

Unfortunately, no matter how "prepared" you think you are for marriage, you aren't. You can never account for another's actions. I made a list of qualities I wanted in a mate.You see, my parent's were never married and had a very volatile relationship. I did not want that for myself. I promised myself I would do everything in my power to have a "normal" relationship. I would be everything they weren't in life. (What kid doesn't think that of their parents?)  So, I made my checklist and if a guy didn't meet the criteria, they were not put on the long term list. What I didn't account for was a guy could meet thing on the check list and still fall short where it mattered.

What do you do when a guy is:
✔educated
✔ financially stable
✔ family orientated
✔ interested

You think, "I won the lottery", or "I don't deserve someone so normal".  I've never had normal. His parents are still married. He went to college and finished all 4 years. He owns a house.

You start noticing things. Every time you buy things for people, (your money) he makes remarks that he hopes people are as "generous" when you guys :have kids, get married, etc. It seems like he's keeping tabs on what you spend versus what others will spend on you. Now... You grew up poor. Like, dirt poor... Welfare Christmas poor. You know what it's like to literally have NOTHING in the house to eat. To depend on free lunches at school. To shop the Goodwill for your "new" school clothes. This man, he went on vacations every year. He's gone to Disneyland. His family scrimped and saved, but they were never poor. Not food shelf poor like you. He has never wondered where his next meal will come from. You don't hold it against him. But you do expect him to have a little sympathy for those that come from places he can't fathom. Yet, he keeps score.

Then you become pregnant. Or maybe your a first time dad. And your spouse is more worried about their parents being included in on the birth process than you guys experiencing it together. At first, you think, maybe this is how "normal" family's react to this. And then you talk to other people. And you find out it is not normal for your mother-in-law to be over every fricken day and to buy your first born every milestone thing. And it's perfectly normal for you to be pist about that. And when you say to stop talking baby talk, or that your child's name is ____,  please don't call them anything else, and they don't listen. Be mad. Say something. Your spouse needs to speak up, too.