I am the proud mom of an almost 4 year old daughter. As she is getting older, I have been confronted with the fact that eventually she will not only want to dress herself, but also (gasp!) pick out the clothes that we buy for her. As of right now, she can dress herself in almost anything in wardrobe and go out in public. Except now that the weather is getting warmer, she wants to wear her swimsuit all the time. I'm still trying to explain to her that is not appropriate attire for the grocery store.

I never thought much about dressing modestly. It was not stressed in my family, and as a girl, teen, and young woman, I wore some pretty revealing outfits. Outfits I do not want to see my daughter in. I'm not going to lie, I thought buying my 18 month old daughter a little bikini was adorable. But what was I teaching her? Would I want to see her in this type of swimwear at 10 with budding breast and hormones starting to come into play? It's not only swimwear that I struggle to find a balance with. Leggings, short shorts, and tank tops are making me second guess myself these days, too. Leggings on little girls seem fairly harmless in my book. But what about when these little girls become teenagers and the leggings are skin tight? That's not leaving much to the imagination. I'm trying teach my daughter that in a place of worship and school is not a place to wear sleeveless shirts, or if you do, to wear something over them. A hot day in July when your bumming around outside- perfectly acceptable.

Of course, when I started my search on modesty, I went where any well-informed parent goes- the internet! :) What I found was both helpful and disturbing. Isn't that always the way it is with all the information out there? So many parents, parents of boys- both boys and girls or just boys- said they couldn't believe what girls these days were wearing. Their biggest complaint was that they had to teach their sons to look at the ground to avoid seeing all the skin women were showing! I'm taking a liberty here, and saying they meant cleavage. I have an issue with this. I have two kids. A girl and a boy. Let me tell you something right now. My son will show respect to ALL women. I don't care if that women is wearing a hijab or is nude, is a lawyer or prostitute. When you are looking at someone, you look at them in the eyes. NOT the chest. Same goes for my daughter, mind you. You speak to everyone respectfully and make eye contact. When did we stop teaching this to our children? And while we must teach our daughters to respect their bodies and be modest in dress, actions, and speech, what about our boys? How many times have you been to the beach and seen boys without shirts on? Is this considered immodest? Why or why not? It seems to me that we put this burden of being pure and perfect on our daughters while teaching our sons it's okay for them to do what we are teaching our daughters not to do and then judge them for it.