Here I am. Another day gone by with my brain going ten thousand miles an hour and all I can think about is how I really need to start blogging again. Or start a journal. Or see a therapist. Either which way you slice it, I need to ramble on and on about everything that's in my head and all the vast nothingness that doesn't make sense even to me.
Work has been boggling my mind. One day I feel like I'm indispensable, the next, I'm worried I could be fired. Unlike so many folks, it's not because there isn't work for me. It's not knowing where I stand.
This is why I may need a therapist. I could just be paranoid. Is it a woman thing? Or just a mentally ill woman thing? Do you ever get that paranoid feeling like nothing you do is right? Everyone is judging you, talking bad about you? Sometimes I feel like I fall so short of expectations that I'm failing all those that count on me. Other times, I'm so afraid to admit that I feel this way because then everyone will really know how fragile I am. How much I doubt myself...
Enough writing therapy tonight. Breath in. Breath out. Tomorrow is a new day.
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